Chasing the High

Addiction (Inspired by Terrance Hayes)

I. The First Hit

Euphoria explodes like fireworks under skin,

Problems dissolve faster than powder in the spoon.

Here's the trick: keep chasing, never catch.

II. The Spiral

Down, down, down the rabbit hole we tumble,

Alice in a Wonderland of needles and pills.

Reality bends, breaks, reshapes itself around the fix.

III. The Withdrawal

Body revolts, a civil war of cells and synapses.

Sweat-soaked sheets, a clock that ticks in geological time.

Freedom and captivity wear the same face.

IV. The Relapse

Old haunts call with siren songs,

Muscle memory stronger than willpower.

One more time, always one more time.

V. The Recovery?

Sobriety: a foreign country with an unfamiliar language.

Each day a battle, each victory pyrrhic.

But maybe, just maybe, this time it sticks.

(Repeat from I. or proceed to VI. Your choice, always your choice.)

This poem attempts to capture the cycle of addiction using Hayes' innovative structuring and exploration of identity, incorporating his tendency to use unconventional forms to convey complex ideas.

Terrance Hayes: Style: Known for his innovative forms, wordplay, and exploration of race, identity, and American culture. He often uses unconventional structures like his "Golden Shovel" form.

Adaptation: His style could be used to explore the complex, multifaceted nature of psychological disorders.

For example:

• Use the "Golden Shovel" form to craft poems about specific disorders, using key diagnostic terms as end words.

• Employ his sharp, associative leaps to mimic thought patterns in conditions like ADHD or anxiety.

• Adapt his exploration of identity to delve into how mental health conditions impact one's sense of self.