Hi Erica. I've been reading some of your poems and enjoyed them.
"Leaves Wither When The Winds Change"
Hi Erica. I've been reading some of your poems and enjoyed them. I am Administrator for a UK based online Poetry Forum and, as so, am often asked to critique members poems. Here is my take on one of yours:
"Leaves Wither When The Winds Change"
A thoughtful and evocative piece that considers into the inevitability and transformative nature of change. You employ vivid imagery and metaphors throughout, creating a palpable sense of the ebb and flow of life.
One notable strength of the poem is its use of natural elements—tides, waves, leaves, caterpillars, and snakes—to convey the cyclical and sometimes unsettling aspects of change. This connection to the natural world enhances the universality of the themes explored in the poem. The line "the river flows, no matter the stones" is particularly resonant, encapsulating the idea that change persists despite obstacles.
The structure of the poem is well-crafted, with a gradual progression from the acknowledgment of routine and habit to the acceptance and celebration of transformation. The metaphor of shedding skin and the repetition of the idea that "change strips us down to the core" effectively convey the vulnerability and rawness that accompany significant life shifts.
In terms of constructive feedback, consider exploring specific examples or moments that illustrate the broader concepts presented. For instance, when discussing memories fading and time erasing the edges of self, providing a concrete image or personal experience could deepen the emotional impact and make the poem even more relatable.
Additionally, while the repetition of certain phrases adds emphasis, ensure that it contributes to the overall flow and impact of the poem. For instance, the repeated use of the word "change" is effective in reinforcing the central theme but consider varying the language or finding alternative expressions to maintain freshness.
Overall, "Leaves Wither When The Winds Change" is a compelling prose poem that successfully captures the nuances of change. It encourages readers to reflect on their own experiences of transformation and embrace the uncertainties that come with growth. Well done!